I think that I’ve found a new friend. This is 1988’s The Blob. How much did this movie rock? THIS MUCH! That’s me yelling right into your ear via the internet.
It doesn’t really have a lot of deep, philosophical points, although it does seem to promote a distrust of government and religion. But it still manages to be fun and intense.
Arborville is an average small town. Until a meteor crashes on it.
The gooey center immediately starts to eat transients.
Also, anyone else it comes into contact with.
It’s really not picky. And as it eats it grows. The plot follows Meg (Shawnee Smith) and local bad boy Brian (Kevin Dillon) as they try to save their town from the blob and the evil guv’mint agents that created the blob. I have to mention that Brian dresses like a younger version of that teacher who rode a motorcycle on Boy Meets World, was a big influence, got into a motorcycle accident, and then just disappeared. They even have the same mullet.
Anymullet, the real standout for this movie is the special effects. This was made in 1988 but it still looks really good. According to my copy Fangoria’s 101 Best Horror Movies You’ve Never Seen the effects were accomplished using a combination of silicone-doused weather balloons, dyed silicone, and forced-perspective miniatures on a tilting table.
The deaths were amazing. I didn’t take screen caps of them because I want you to see them for yourself. You have to take the journey and learn, et cetera, et cetera.
A short order cook gets sucked down the drain. And it doesn’t even look goofy like the claymation drain effects in It. A woman is crushed to death by the blob while in a phone booth. Btw, I love seeing people use phone booths in movies. It reminds me of a safer, gentler past when there were still rotary phones and you could make a public call in the privacy of a glass booth that someone probably had sex in. This one guy is pulled through the rungs of a ladder with his legs all bent backwards. Plus, the movie kills one of the kids. I have to give credit to a movie that shows the harsh reality that sometimes children die.
Finally, it was full of silly eighties one-liners like the one I used in my title. So this may not be the thinkingest person’s movie but it was actually fun and charming to watch. And might I add that Meg is pretty awesome? She takes charge to help fight the blob when the people in the town only seem to know how to run and scream. And she leaves the safety of the group to save her little brother at the movie theater.