Alternate Title: When Bad Actors Show Up In Your Good Movies
Remember that little movie that I last wrote about, The Alpha Incident? A man named George “Buck” Flower played the best character in the movie, possibly in all of moviedom, Hank the railroadman.
So I watched The Fog last night so I could grace these not-pages with an actually good movie to wash out the taste of The Alpha Incident (It tastes like Billy Beer and Marlboros with menthol.) I always Wiki the movies I watch just to see if there are any fun facts I can find. See how hard I work for you? You could at least call more often or write to me. Don’t forget to wipe your feet off when you come in, I just mopped.
Anyway…George “Buck” Flower was in The Fog. He played Tommy Wallace, one of the first people murdered in the aforementioned fog of The Fog.
See how I slickly introduced The Fog in the above paragraphs? I deserved that award from my 12th grade english teacher, thanks Mrs. Pelios! So yes, I watched The Fog, no it wasn’t the remake with Selma Blair and how dare you insinuate that I would watch that.
But I think this is a good opportunity to compare the differences between a good-bad movie and a bad-bad movie.
How the movie looks A good portion of The Alpha Incident was filmed with some neon orange light that made the scene look like it was lit with a KFC heat lamp. That wasn’t a fun effect, especially considering it clashed with the general seventies ugliness. The FogWas filmed in anamorphic, making it look like it cost more than the $1 million it cost to make it. The Alpha Incident was all blurry around the edges at times, although this may have been because of the Mills Creek transfer. The Fog…wasn’t.
The Acting I swear, the only believable character in The Alpha Project, aside from Hank, was Charley and he had all of three lines. The acting in The Fog was actually very good. No one was shrill like the women in Human Centipede. Plus, it had a young Jamie Lee Curtis before she started hawking yoghurt. And it introduced me to my new girlcrush, Adrienne Barbeau. How have I not seen a movie with her before? Why do people talk about Angelina Jolie kicking ass when Adrienne could fight ghosts on the top of a lighthouse?
The Effects: The two moments of gore in The Alpha Incident were goofy. The effects in The Fog weren’t. Mostly. John Carpenter went for the less is more approach, which I firmly support in most cases. We see very little of the ghosts until the end. That’s when I snickered a little, because the glowy red eyes looked like my alarm clock. But overall, it was good and scary. Carpenter managed to build suspense using…
Music What helped Carpenter was that his music wasn’t noodly, seventies synth music. The music in The Fog built an impending sense of doom. The music in The Alpha Incident was mostly absent except for aforementioned noodliness, plus a few moments of porntastic sax music. STOP. No me gusto. Do not want.
My conclusion? The Fog is worth your time and effort and we should worship everything that Adrienne Barbeau does. And don’t watch The Alpha Incident unless it’s a scene with Hank.
- Scarina--the authoress and editrix of this site. I like scary movies and have dedicated my free time to cataloging horror--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes there are books too.
There's film criticism, literary criticism, and humor here. I can be highbrow but there's lots of pop culture too. And feminism.
I fervently love "Twin Peaks" and wish it were a real place so I could move there. I can't list my favorite scary movies because they change depending on my mood, the season, and how much coffee I've had.
I'm an artist looking for ways to blend creepy with cute. I try to channel my childhood nightmares, my love of horror, and my experiences with sleepy paralysis.
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