I made a boo-boo yesterday. In my eagerness to get to the next video on my Netflix queue I sent away Black Christmas (1975) before I could get screen caps! Boo-urns indeed.
Don’t hit me, Uncle Frank!
But my post has lots of pretty words and if pictures are worth a thousand words then aren’t a thousand words equal to one picture?
What I can say is that Black Christmas is definitely buy-worthy so one day in the future I will have a shiny copy of my own. So my review begins…now!
Does anyone else remember the days before *69 and caller ID? I’m old so I remember but it struck me that there’s a generation growing up that may not know the joy of consequence-free prank calling. Of course, my generation is probably the last generation that could go to Senor Frog’s and pose for nude pictures without the risk that one of our douchebag friends would put it on the internet. Uhm, not that I ever did that. Please, as if I’d ever go anywhere where I could possibly tan. My complexion is what I like to call “Wednesday Addams chic.” Anytangent, that’s the point. The women of an unnamed sorority house have been getting creepy, perverted phone calls and there’s no way of tracking or stopping them. The movie opens during a Christmas party when they get a call from the creep who they’ve dubbed the Moaner. They’re not going to let him ruin their fun, not even the creepy guy climbing their trellis that no one seems to notice.
One by one the women are picked off. You know how they say that the people who have sex in a slasher are always the first to die? Not so here, the woman that Barb (Margot Kidder) dubs the professional virgin dies first in a beautifully shot but grisly scene. As the calls increase in frequency and intensity they start to mirror conversations that possible Final Girl Jess (Olivia Hussey) had with her semi-creepy high-strung musician boyfriend.
Jess’s attempts to stop the calls are matched by the ineptitude of the police. Plus, the police’s attention is divided by reports of a missing girl. Who will help Jess as the body count rises? Speaking of body counts, there are some very memorable deaths including death by crane hook and death by a unicorn figurine. I knew never to trust Lisa Frank.
It’s not just the deaths that are beautiful. The whole movie looks so warm and inviting while the music is cold and spooky. This includes little children carolling. Ain’t nothing creepier than little kids singing, EXCEPT for the endless rounds of “Frere Jacques” that plagued Bell From Hell. The movie featured shots from the killer’s POV but not enough to render the movie tedious (I’m looking at YOU, Boggy Creek 2.)
Ultimately, I think the movie is a commentary on fears about safety in the home. As one character comments, only one door in the whole house is ever locked. They lock the doors and windows but what do you do when you’re locking the bad guy in?
I knew where the movie was going but it still managed to elicit some scares from me. It’s definitely joining my other favorite Christmas movies–The Nightmare Before Christmas and Home Alone.
And I’d be incredibly remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite character, Barb the Drunk. From the time she gave that kid booze to the time she told Sergeant Nash that their phone number started with “Fellatio” she had my heart and I want to start an “I Heart Drunk Barb” club.
- Scarina--the authoress and editrix of this site. I'm not good at writing intros for myself. I just like scary movies. Probably more than you and definitely more than your momma. I grew up in New Jersey which is probably why I'm so weird. The whole atmosphere in NJ is strange. I love kitty chins, "The Master and Margarita," and Twin Peaks.
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