Christmas Comes Early this Year

I made a boo-boo yesterday. In my eagerness to get to the next video on my Netflix queue I sent away Black Christmas (1975) before I could get screen caps! Boo-urns indeed.

Don’t hit me, Uncle Frank!
But my post has lots of pretty words and if pictures are worth a thousand words then aren’t a thousand words equal to one picture?
What I can say is that Black Christmas is definitely buy-worthy so one day in the future I will have a shiny copy of my own. So my review begins…now!
Does anyone else remember the days before *69 and caller ID? I’m old so I remember but it struck me that there’s a generation growing up that may not know the joy of consequence-free prank calling. Of course, my generation is probably the last generation that could go to Senor Frog’s and pose for nude pictures without the risk that one of our douchebag friends would put it on the internet. Uhm, not that I ever did that. Please, as if I’d ever go anywhere where I could possibly tan. My complexion is what I like to call “Wednesday Addams chic.” Anytangent, that’s the point. The women of an unnamed sorority house have been getting creepy, perverted phone calls and there’s no way of tracking or stopping them. The movie opens during a Christmas party when they get a call from the creep who they’ve dubbed the Moaner. They’re not going to let him ruin their fun, not even the creepy guy climbing their trellis that no one seems to notice.
One by one the women are picked off. You know how they say that the people who have sex in a slasher are always the first to die? Not so here, the woman that Barb (Margot Kidder) dubs the professional virgin dies first in a beautifully shot but grisly scene. As the calls increase in frequency and intensity they start to mirror conversations that possible Final Girl Jess (Olivia Hussey) had with her semi-creepy high-strung musician boyfriend.
Jess’s attempts to stop the calls are matched by the ineptitude of the police. Plus, the police’s attention is divided by reports of a missing girl. Who will help Jess as the body count rises? Speaking of body counts, there are some very memorable deaths including death by crane hook and death by a unicorn figurine. I knew never to trust Lisa Frank.
It’s not just the deaths that are beautiful. The whole movie looks so warm and inviting while the music is cold and spooky. This includes little children carolling. Ain’t nothing creepier than little kids singing, EXCEPT for the endless rounds of “Frere Jacques” that plagued Bell From Hell. The movie featured shots from the killer’s POV but not enough to render the movie tedious (I’m looking at YOU, Boggy Creek 2.)
Ultimately, I think the movie is a commentary on fears about safety in the home. As one character comments, only one door in the whole house is ever locked. They lock the doors and windows but what do you do when you’re locking the bad guy in?
I knew where the movie was going but it still managed to elicit some scares from me. It’s definitely joining my other favorite Christmas movies–The Nightmare Before Christmas and Home Alone.
And I’d be incredibly remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite character, Barb the Drunk. From the time she gave that kid booze to the time she told Sergeant Nash that their phone number started with “Fellatio” she had my heart and I want to start an “I Heart Drunk Barb” club.

About scarina

I like scary movies a little too much. I thought I'd share my obsession with you.
This entry was posted in 1970's, slasher, thriller and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Christmas Comes Early this Year

  1. Sadako says:

    That movie sounds amazing…ly bad. In an awesome way. Huzzah for little kids singing. And for not trusting Lisa Frank. I never did. Lots of girls did. Me? I stayed away. It was all a little too cutely surreal for me. (And this from a girl who regularly tucks in her stuffed animals.)

    Love the Uncle Frank moment. I always get those random Home Alone snippets in my head at weird moments. (Though you probably knew that!) I love the cute sort of sad face Macauley gets on his face after Uncle Frank calls him a jerk.

    • scarina says:

      It was actually really, really good. Actually spooky, good acting, good filming. I was into Lisa Frank stickers but only because I was into ALL stickers. I miss scratch ‘n sniff stickers. For realsies. (I fully support tucking in stuffed animals and dollws.)
      I could relate to Kevin a lot. I was the youngest and the only one who liked plain pizza. Poor Kevin, someone should adopt him. I should. We could eat plain pizza and watch film noir.

  2. Sadako says:

    Hmmm. Maybe I need to check this out. I love a good scare. As long as I’ve got protection and all the lights on in the house.

    Yeah. Something about being a kid makes plain cheese pizza so appetizing. I can tell that I’m older because I do appreciate “sausage and olives” and all that stuff Kevin hated. :D

    • scarina says:

      I recomend it. Just make sure you don’t get the remake, I heard it’s horrible and has a stoopid twist ending.
      I love pizza with eggplant but I mostly still choose cheese.

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  8. MegzyTay says:

    I didnt really get into this movie, but i think my problem was i watched the remake first before i knew it was an actual remake of the 1974 version !!!!

    the remake is pretty vicious and gorey whereas the orginal is soooooooooooo very creepy with the focus mainly on those creepy ass phone calls, i think i will have to sit down and watch the orginal again !!!

    plus i was kinda biased cause katie cassidy is in the remake of of black xmas and i have a massive girly crush on her hahah

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